This structure annoys me a lot more than it should. This would work great in an ideal world, but in today’s world, it leaves most households miserable because ego is a thing, and people aren’t perfect. We live in a broken world so let’s not pretend this structure works for all of us. What God intended for the garden is not what is happening out here in the wilderness we are living in. Real talk.
Personally, I think both husband, and wife should be one umbrella under God because in today’s world parenthood is a shared responsibility. It’s not just the wife raising the kids while the husband brings in money. In today’s world fathers can and should be more hands on. Even if your wife is a stay at home wife you should still be hands on.
It takes two to protect, lead, provide, comfort, teach and nurture. It is also a shared responsibility because the church teaches us unity in marriage, and the church talks a lot about wives being obedient to their spouse vise verse, but the church doesn’t dive as much into parenthood. Now and then, the church talks about how the father should treat the mother well because the children are watching. Why don’t we talk about how fathers should be comforters, teachers, and nurturers? Why don’t we talk about how mothers should be protectors, leaders, and providers?
Let’s not pretend that some mothers aren’t going back to work after their maternity leave is over. Let’s not pretend that both husband and wife are working outside the home, and are sharing the responsibility of raising their kids. It saddens me to see a father bring their child to a doctor’s appointment, and the father has no clue what he is doing because his wife always took the kids to the doctor so she knows everything or vise verse. That image is not okay. It’s not comfortable. It’s not safe for the household.
Don’t get met me wrong, dividing tasks gets it done faster, but it’s always great to know how the other person’s tasks are done for those days when you have to be the one doing it. It’s like when someone isn’t in the office, and no one knows how their job is done so the task doesn’t get done. If our world functions like that, we would be in grave danger. There’s no niche in parenting. Parenting is the niche that you both share.
Thinking of the kind of parent, I want to be. I think my children will love me more if I raise them to love God, and love themselves above loving me. In doing so, they learn that they are an extension of a powerful, loving, all-knowing God. In that, they learn to value themselves and the people around them. In that, the world will look different because they love God.
Most importantly, I think parents should teach their kids to love & obey God, love & respect themselves, and then love/respect & obey their parents (in that order) because too many children are raised to love their parents but have no idea how to love themselves and God. I’m questioning how sustainable it’s to raise a Christian child who doesn’t love God. As a parent, your goal is to prepare your child for life everlasting, not just temporary moments. Everything comes from God. Your child is made in the very likeness of God so if they’re not learning to love God, and themselves how are they able to function in the world? How can they love you as a parent when they don’t know how to love God and themselves.
So, no this structure will not be true for our house. As for me and my house …You know the rest, and no, we’re not changing the hierarchy of what God has called us to. We’re making it relevant to our time. After all, we live in a broken world. Must we function as broken people? No, but we must function as people living in a broken world.