Unpopular opinion, but children deserve stability. They deserve a home. Coming from someone who had neither I can tell you it makes a world of a difference. That’s why I truly believe in having children in the bound of marriage, and not outside of marriage. There’s a reason why God calls couples who have taken the vow of marriage to be fruitful, and multiply.
There’s a reason why he doesn’t say the same to couples dating. A marriage teaches a couple about selflessness. In marriage, you learn to think about “us” and put each other first. You learn to let go of the selfish desire to make everything about yourself, and your needs. That mindset prepares you for parenthood because there’s no I in parenting. There’s only us. As several people have said, children need both parents. As a parent, your child is always the most important part of the decisions you make. Whatever decision you make is supposed to be for their good, always.
Parenthood is not for the selfish of heart. It truly is not because it’s a vocation that demands so much heart. It’s a decision that demands stability and unity. It’s not meant to be done alone. It’s a communal process. You don’t become a parent on your own. By the design, God made it so for this very purpose.
These vows are meant to be taken seriously are meant to protect the children produced in it. Often time children born out of wedlock are born out of selfishness, greed, and sin. However, most of the time, in marriage, children born are born out of love and a desire to serve God and live a purposeful life.
Love demands that you set aside what you want for what is best for your family. Love is not about you or your spouse. It’s about glorifying God. Having children is glorifying God because the fruits of your union are meant to bring forth life. Marriage is meant to bring forth life. An abundance amount of life. When this is misused, pain is produced instead.
There are so much uncertainty and instability in having children out of wedlock. Marriage is meant to protect us as people too. As humans, broken, and sinful. We are fickle and can be untrustworthy, and that is why the vow of marriage is necessary. Before you buy a house you want a contract that assures you’re protected, don’t you? As unromantic as it sounds. Marriage is the very contract that protects us, and the life we create. It’s what protects this life from our sinful ways.
That is why, as a child born out of wedlock, I urge couples in a relationship, and not married to consider being married before God if they wish to bring forth life. You don’t need a big wedding. You just need each other, and two witnesses to stand before God, and take your vow. I’ll always be an advocate for small, intimate weddings. I’ll always be an advocate for marriage before bringing forth a child. If you think marriage is a big commitment think again because so if having a child with someone.
P.S. This is not meant to shame anyone who had a child out of wedlock. This is from a child born out of wedlock.